Week III

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Detailed Outline

Marriage Masters often berated us, two representatives of Generation X, with something like this: “You are a me-me-me generation.  What you don’t understand is that the me gets everything it needs when it puts the we first.” 

Like most young people, we considered love to be purely a feeling—an unmistakable, giddy, floating-on-clouds sensation we experienced when we explored new relationships.  The problem was, this giddy feeling would invariably dissipate, at which time we believed the “love” had left forever.  The Marriage Masters were quick to point out the flaw in our philosophy.  They acknowledged that love is indeed a feeling, but not limited to a feeling.  “Love is a decision,” they would say, “a decision to give to another person.  Sometimes the decision needs to be to act loving even when you don’t feel like it.”  One Marriage Masters husband summed it up in one sentence when he said, “Love is a four-letter word spelled G-I-V-E.” 

If our purpose in life, as declared by 1 Corinthians 14, is to “Follow the way of love” and if to love is to give, then its no coincidence that Jesus says the highest activity to which we can aspire is to be in service. 

The “Velocity of Generosity” is the concept that giving accelerates the love in our life.  Generosity is the fuel of the heart, so to speak.  Being generous allows love to move and flow in and through our lives.  Velocity is a vector with two components: direction and speed.  It is important to know where we should direct our generosity.  When we are feeling sad, the quickest way to uplift our hearts and get love flowing is to take the focus off of ourselves and put it on helping someone else.  Giving is the expression of love, and it doesn’t always change others, but it will changes ourselves. 

I Corinthians 13: “Love…keeps no score of wrongs.”  Holding a scorecard becomes a barrier to our practice of generosity and the desire to give.  Comparing how much others have given to us versus what we’ve given to them removes our focus from what we have and directs it on the lack thereof.  For example, it is very human to think, “I’ve called three times and they’ve only called me once,” or “I’ve unloaded the dishwasher five times, they’ve only unloaded it twice.”  The practice of “keeping no score of wrongs” is to give because we feel overwhelmed with gratitude for what God has given us. 

We can practice building up our generosity by creating a gratitude list.  For thirty days every evening before you go to bed, write down three things you’re grateful for.  Once the feeling of gratitude is built up, generosity will flow from our hearts with ease.

The Giving Box: The Marriage Masters have upgraded the Golden Rule.  They say when it comes to giving to another person, it is not do unto others as you would have them do unto you, because people don’t always feel loved in the same way.  It’s best to ask the person to whom you want to give: How do you enjoy being shown love? For example, the book “Five Love Languages” explains five different ways people prefer to receive love.  They are: quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, and words of affirmation.  Once you’ve asked this question, your gift of love is much more likely to be received in the manner in which you intended. 

Sermon Notes

• It is easy to confuse Love for a feeling.  But the “feeling of love” naturally ebbs and flows.  The Marriage Masters teach that Love is more than a feeling; it’s also a decision we make every day.

• The Marriage Masters describe Love as a four-letter word spelled G-I-V-E.

• What is the Velocity of Generosity?  Velocity is a vector with two components, speed and direction.  Directing our generosity on other people and giving from our hearts (even when we don’t feel like it) accelerates the experience of Love in our lives.  When we are experiencing a love-doldrum, giving is the quickest way to enter back into the experience of Love. 

• Jesus said the highest activity to which we can aspire is to be in service.

• The practice of generosity is most effective when it comes from a feeling of overwhelming gratitude.  Focus on the good you have and bless it. 

• I Corinthians 13: “Love…keeps no score of wrongs.”  Holding a scorecard becomes a barrier to the experience of generosity.  Comparing how much others have given to us versus what we’ve given to them, takes our focus off of what we have and directs it on the lack thereof.  The practice is to discard the scorecard and maintain an attitude of gratitude.

• The Giving Box: An enhancement to the Golden Rule. 

Scripture

I Corinthians 13: 4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Stories

• Project Everlasting: Page 212, “Love You”. GREAT IDEA! Feel free to print out our Love You Notes pdf and give these cards to your congregation as a gift.  They carry these cards with them as a reminder to demonstrate love in their lives.

Quotes

• “If you were charged in a court of law with loving someone else, would there be enough evidence to convict you?”  –Anonymous

• “Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

• “When you discover the wonder of giving, you will wonder how you could have lived so long in any other way.  It is the key that opens the door to every good thing in your life.  it opens the door to the good you have been seeking and gives life every new dimension.  It gives you the feeling and the knowing that truly you live in an abundant and plentiful universe and it is yours.  It can be one of the greatest discoveries of your life.  when you become a committed giver, you can no more go back to the old way of living than you can go back to prehistoric times.” -- Norman Vincent Peale

• “Life's most persistent and urgent question is: 'What are you doing for others?’”     -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

• “The quality of questions you ask determines the quality of life you live.”
  – Anonymous.  (One high quality question is: “How have I loved today?”)

Humor

A group of professional people posed this question, “What is love?” to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds.  Here are the answers they received:

• “Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way." - Charlie age 5

• "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." - Billy- age 4
  

• "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." - Karl - age 5

• "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." - Chrissy - age 6

• "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." - Bobby - age 5

• "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." - Nikka - age 6

• "When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more." Matthew -age 7

• "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."  - Noelle - age 7

• "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." - Tommy - age 6

• "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." - Karen - age 7

• "Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." - Mark - age 6

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